Just because I read, write, and watch horror, doesn’t mean I’m fearless. If you remember my previous post on what scares me, you might recall that I am afraid of heights. I always have been. And I don’t know why. But over the past couple of years, I have enjoyed facing my fears head on and either getting over them or scaring myself shitless in the process.
That is not what I was thinking about when I agreed to Camp Fortune with my work.
When my manager suggested that we all get together to have fun at the aerial park, I immediately said yes because I love spending time with my coworkers. I had a blast when we all participated in Hope Volleyball together.
It was only as the day approached that I realized exactly what I had agreed to do.
Why, oh why, did I agree to climb up into the trees and dangle that far off the ground? Why?
Because I thought it would be fun.
And you know what…
It was!
Despite the fear, and later the misery, I had a blast.
Climbing the ladder, I felt my whole body tense. I got the shakes. The world around me disappeared. I swore like profanity was the only language I knew.
With Mark behind me and a coworker in front of me, the two of them cheered me on as I stumbled my way through the course. And I quite literally stumbled when my foot slipped on a rain slicked log. As I sit to write this post, I still feel the ache of pulled muscles from when I tried to prevent myself from falling.
And don’t even get me started on the rain.
What started off as ominous fog from a John Carpenter film quickly transitioned from drizzle to downpour over the course of an hour. It rained so hard we were pulled off the course. I was soaked chilled to the bone. My lips and fingernails were blue. All of this brought about even more intense profanity than before.
But my hatred of the weather was enough to distract me from how high up I was. And as I shivered on my way back to the lodge, the miserable situation was enough to distract me from my fear of any worms that might come burrowing out of the ground.
As I got warmed up and dried off, I realized just how much of the course I had been able to complete before the rain put a stop to our adventure. I realized there had been some great bonding moments between me, my husband, and my coworkers. I realized that I would have thoroughly enjoyed myself had the weather not been so aggresive.
I was actually disappointed that we had to put an end to our day at the aerial park.
And then I heard the news…
My manager said that we had been offered a rain check date since the conditions on the course had been unsafe enough to cut our trip short. We get to go back.
And I’m actually looking forward to it!
Now, I can’t guarantee I won’t be able to climb the ladders without freezing and tensing up. I can’t guarantee I won’t be trembling the whole time. And I certainly can’t guarantee I’ll complete the course without uttering a single swear word. But I can guarantee that I will have a lot more fun the second time around.
I can’t wait to face this fear again.
