Not long before the pandemic reached my area, I got rid of my desk. When Mark and I went to visit Finn and his foster family, we also fell in love with Bubs. Mark told me that if I wanted two kittens, we would have to clear up space in our shared office for an extra litter box, cat toys, and play space. Since I did not have the option to work from home, and my desk had turned into a bit of a dumping ground, I was more than okay with letting it go if it meant I could get an extra kitten out of the deal.
Cut to about a month later when I lost my job because COVID closed my workplace. This was both the best and worst thing to ever happen to me, for a lot of different reasons. Most notably, this was the kick in the butt I needed to pursue my dream job and set new career goals. The only problem was that I no longer had a desk or office space.
Thanks to my wonderful husband, this was not an issue. We rarely used the breakfast nook anyway, and since we could no longer have company over we weren’t using our kitchen table. With a little bit of spatial reconfiguration, and a lot of hand-me-down tech equipment as Mark upgraded his own office, we were able to set up a pretty decent home office for me. And although the kitchen table served its purpose, it was less than ideal. My physiotherapist certainly wasn’t happy with the idea of me working from anything but a real desk. So when a mysterious package showed up at our front door this weekend, I was beyond thrilled to see that my amazing husband had bought me a real desk (which just so happens to be a lot better than the one I got rid of back in 2020).
So what’s so great about having a real desk? Other than the fact that this will help my chronic neck and back problems, this has given me a huge boost of confidence in terms of my career goals. Starting a new career is always a challenge, and doing that during a pandemic feels just a little bit extra stressful. This certainly have not been easy, but I have made so much progress and so many personal improvements over the past year. For probably the first time in my life, I am actually becoming a career focused individual. I have long term plans and goals, and I’m doing work that I hope to be able to do for the rest of my life. I have honestly never felt like this before.
I think the biggest contributing factor to my becoming an actual career woman is that now I’m doing what I want, not what I’m supposed to want. Even though people in my life have always supported my writing, there was always this expectation that a “real job” had to come first, and writing had to come second. And when I finished school and was looking for one of those “real jobs” that would pay me to write, jobs that would offer me a the classic 9 to 5 lifestyle, nothing was what I actually wanted. I applied to jobs that other people wanted me to have, even though it was work I did not want to do. But I felt like I had to want those kinds of jobs because they were my only “real” options.
I was wrong. Everything that I have learned this past year tells me that I do have the potential to make a career out of my writing, and on my own terms. If I knew then what I know now, I have no doubt I would have started my dream job a lot sooner. I regret the fact that it took me this long to get here, and I feel like there have been some missed opportunities along the way, but at least I’m putting in the work now. Better late than never, right?
Getting a new desk means a lot in this context. It adds a sense of legitimacy. I’m not just working off of a kitchen table, hoping for the best; I’m actively chasing down my dream job, working hard along the way. And the new desk helps me feel supported. Mark has been %110 supportive right from the start, and this is just the cherry on top. Everything he has done for me throughout this journey shows that he believes in me. He doesn’t just think I’ll succeed, he knows I’ll succeed. And that is far more valuable to me than a new desk.
